IDIOCY SQUARED

Sometimes people do stupid things, even really smart people.  But Texas seems to have a degree of inspired stupidity that simply takes the breath away.

    The bunch of I’ve-got-a-steel-rod-up-my-ass defenders of freedom and hatred who set up some kind of cartoon roast of Mohammad in Garland, Texas, probably—no, surely—haven’t read the Quran and are clueless as to the actual teachings of Mohammad.  They are simply setting up an anti-Islam demonstration of freedom of speech and world-class, slack-jawed, drooling idiocy.  They are unable to distinguish between Arab culture and Islam, one of which (the former) causes lots of trouble for anyone and everyone, and the latter, which is a religion just like the rest of ‘em—you can read anything you want to in so-called holy scriptures not matter what the brand.

    Most of the United States is quite conservative by world standards, but Texas is so far to the right it may fall off the edge of the world at any moment.  They can do this because they are still back there in the flat-earth crew; many of Texas’ churches preach that man and dinosaur lived at the same time and that humankind has been just like it is now, having sprung fully developed from the forehead of…no, wait, that is mythology.

    As someone in San Francisco said to me when he heard about people living alongside dinosaurs back in the day, “Hell, we must have been a lot faster than we are now.”

     It is ironic that these groups are proof positive that evolution is a sound scientific theory, because looking at them, you can see that some of us didn’t quite make it.  No chimp or gorilla would do anything even remotely as stupid as setting out to insult someone they know nothing about and writings which they haven’t read.  There is always the exciting prospect that Texans are the missing link, but, to toss a wet blanket over that notion, it is more probable that they are the link between some primitive ancestor and the big primates of today, except for humankind.  Some have even put forth the theory that these groups prove that you can, in essence, devolve instead of evolve.  This is a scary idea indeed, and considering the numbers of people who reject anything scientific, it could be that the U.S. is upon a terrible path backward.

    Except Austin.  Austin rocks.  Austin calls itself weird, but Austin doesn’t know what weird is.  Austin thinks that if you have big music festivals, fantastic restaurants, aging hippies and young hippies, and lots of very smart people, it makes you weird.  Not really.  It just makes you fun.  Weird in Texas, maybe…

     One of these days Austin is going to have to secede from Texas, kick out the Lege, and set itself up as a republic.  The new capital of the former Texas, soon to be known as “Duhland”, could be Garland.  It has a certain ring to it…Garland, Duhland…and the state animal could be the velociraptor.  The pterodactyl probably won’t be the  Duhland state “bird” because it’s possible no one can spell it.