How Holmes Really Ended Up

"Quick, Watson, the game's afoot!" cried Holmes, bursting into Watson's sitting room one morning.

Watson, seated in an easy chair by the window, slowly lowered his newspaper. He took a swig of tea from a cup resting on the side table. He replaced the cup on its saucer; the chink of crockery could be heard.

"No, Holmes, the game is not afoot. They are having a 5K and 10K event along the road by the park today. Everyone and his uncle are participating, including ladies with racing strollers, old men with dogs, and experienced runners. Everthing except the game is afoot."

"Oh...well...nevertheless, remember the old gal wearing those rocking chair shoes that are supposed to lift your buttocks, tighten your abs, and make you look ten years younger? She was out again today, and alone this time, no one to hold her up! She was wearing gloves, too, Watson. Do you get the deeper meaning of that? What hideous crime is she up to?"

"Oh, good Lord, Holmes, she's wearing gloves to protect her hands when she falls down in those ungodly shoes. For years now, Holmes, I've played straight man to your narcissistic arrogance, affectation of eccentricity, and cold personality. Oh, I admit it, I'm a sentimental, warm-hearted man, with just enough interest in crime to put up with your foolishness. Maybe I'm masochistic, but I've coddled your need to have someone pretending to be dumber than shredded paper so you could bounce your ideas off me and look like a genious. Holmes, let's face it, I have a cactus in a pot with more deductive reasoning than you've got. Can I serve you a cup of tea, by the way?"

Holmes stood stunned.

"If that's the way you feel, Watson, then there is nothing more to say. I take my leave of you, and let me wish you a good day."

Holmes moved toward the door, head held high, with an expression of cold disapproval.

"By the way, take that assinine hat you wear, Holmes, with its silly ear flaps, and just toss it onto that cactus plant by the window there. Any criminal with two neurons still firing can spot you a mile off with that monstrosity on your head."

Holmes slammed the door, and Watson went back to his paper.


Three K today, as yesterday and the day before; my plan is that one of these days, it will suddenly be easy to pass the 3K mark and keep on going. It was even easier today, in fact, but it helps to have a lot to think about so you don't pay a lot of attention to distance. My shoes are beginning to need replacement, too, so in Seattle next week shopping is in order.

Running can be highly productive; I came up with a whole plan for our mayor in order to get the cops in our area in some kind of physical shape. I'm gonna write it up and take it to him. Keep your fingers crossed.