Bionic hip

 Thanks to my rude lifestyle that has included falling from horses and being bowled over by my dogs, one of my hips has had to be replaced. The surgery was, oddly enough, entertaining. I sang one of my favorite songs and declared that the surgeons sounded like carpenters. You can pretty much assume I had some fun drugs for the procedure.

Recovery was rough but there is a whole slew of "by the way" items you don't hear about until after the surgery is done and you are home having to deal with these items. By the way, your legs will no longer be the same length, and the one operated on will be longer. This means you will have to compensate by placing partial insoles into the shoe for the opposite leg. You can try whole insoles, but your foot will be crammed into the instep part of your shoes and your toes will be popping out of the end.

I went for the partial insoles. And by the way, you have to get rid of a rather large number of shoes. Got any high heels? Adios, amigos! Sandals? Well, do you mind if the partial insoles are so very visible if you try to wear the cute little strappy sandals? So far I have kept soft flats, ballet-type flats in fact, and tennis shoes loose enough to allow blood to circulate in the lifted foot. I also still have some wedgies that I fantasize wearing even though I suspect it will be an exercise in pain management.

No more riding for me, either. My horse has a trot like a Beetle with no shock absorbers, and no running either, because both activities can eventually damage the implant. Maybe "eventually" is the clue here. I'm almost eighty years old and "eventually" has a really short shelf life, so who knows? Could a slow trot on the treadmill really be so terrible?  And if I got on the horse, could I just ride around with no trotting or galloping? No, that part isn't going to work, I feel. 

But I have my dogs. There is a sign on my front door that states: "Spoiled dogs (and their staff) live here." I think that sums it up.