Artie Choked to Death

The reason my blog was nonfunctional was due to an IE upgrade necessary for me to take an online course in Italian cooking.  So far the course has been fabulous--delicious salads, great manicotti, fresh and filled pastas, you name it.  The only recipe that was a dismal failure so far was stuffed artichokes alla Romana.

The video was clear as a bell on the cleaning and stuffing of the artichokes.  Now, they have always seemed to me too much work for very little payback.  That little bit of meat at the end of the leaf and the heart seem fairly tasteless, frankly, only being redeemed by dipping the leaf in butter or mayonnaise.  But, hey, if the Italians like them, then there must be something to it.

Cut off the top fourth of the artichoke, our chef advises.  Good luck on that one.  My knives are literally sharp enough to cut paper, and my bandaged fingers are proof.  After a while I felt like I needed a chain saw to get that top fourth off.  The results were less than aesthetic, but even at that point I knew something was not right here.  My artichokes were a different color, a very lovely purple inside; the instructions said to strip the leaves until the artichoke was a pale green.  Then carefully pushing the leaves aside, you dig out the choke with a spoon and rinse to make sure you've gotten it all.  It is ever so inedible.

I kept pulling off leaves until I realized there was never going to be any pale green.  Then, I found that the choke was protected by a tightly closed, minute set of purple leaves that would have to be dug out first.  I thought I would never get rid of the blasted choke, but as it was, it really didn't matter.  I prepared the stuffing (delicious indeed) and tried to get it into my artichokes.  Artichokes, by the way, are members of the thistle family, and as far as I'm concerned, that says it all.

The instructions said to cut thick rings of onion, lay them in a pot, add some parsley and a little salt, place the artichoke stems in the onion rings so the artichokes would be held upright, add water, and steam.  Halfway through, you are supposed to turn the artichokes over, "being careful not to spill the filling". 

My onions had wilted in the process, releasing their liquid, and there was no way I could turn the beasts over without soaking the filling.  I turned them on their sides.

Just to give the chefs a laugh, I dutifully took a picture of these god-awful things and sent it on to the school.  The instructor came to the conclusion that I had some other breed of artichoke, and I used the filling for stuffed baked mushrooms that came out spectacularly.  For your delight and amazement, I include the culprits here.